Читать книгу The Sun and Her Flowers. Белые стихи, от которых распускаются цветы онлайн | страница 2
- what does love look like
- the therapist asks
- one week after the breakup
- and i’m not sure how to answer her question
- except for the fact that i thought love
- looked so much like you
- that’s when it hit me
- and i realized how naive i had been
- to place an idea so beautiful on the image of a person
- as if anybody on this entire earth
- could encompass all love represented
- as if this emotion seven billion people tremble for
- would look like a five foot eleven
- medium-sized brown-skinned guy
- who likes eating frozen pizza for breakfast
- what does love look like
- the therapist asks again
- this time interrupting my thoughts midsentence
- and at this point i’m about to get up
- and walk right out the door
- except i paid far too much money for this hour
- so instead i take a piercing look at her
- the way you look at someone
- when you’re about to hand it to them
- lips pursed tightly preparing to launch into conversation
- eyes digging deeply into theirs
- searching for all the weak spots
- they have hidden somewhere
- hair being tucked behind the ears
- as if you have to physically prepare for a conversation
- on the philosophies or rather disappointments
- of what love looks like
- well
- i tell her
- i don’t think love is him anymore
- if love was him
- he would be here wouldn’t he
- if he was the one for me
- wouldn’t he be the one sitting across from me
- if love was him it would have been simple
- i don’t think love is him
- anymore i repeat
- i think love never was
- i think i just wanted something
- was ready to give myself to something
- i believed was bigger than myself
- and when i saw someone
- who could probably fit the part
- i made it very much my intention
- to make him my counterpart
- and i lost myself to him
- he took and he took
- wrapped me in the word special
- until i was so convinced he had eyes only to see me
- hands only to feel me
- a body only to be with me
- oh how he emptied me
- how does that make you feel
- interrupts the therapist
- well
- i said
- it kind of makes me feel like shit
- maybe we’re all looking at it wrong
- we think it’s something to search for out there
- something meant to crash into us
- on our way out of an elevator
- or slip into our chair at a cafe somewhere
- appear at the end of an aisle at the bookstore
- looking the right amount of sexy and intellectual
- but i think love starts here
- everything else is just desire and projection
- of all our wants needs and fantasies
- but those externalities could never work out
- if we didn’t turn inward and learn
- how to love ourselves in order to love other people
- love does not look like a person
- love is our actions
- love is giving all we can
- even if it’s just the bigger slice of cake
- love is understanding
- we have the power to hurt one another
- but we are going to do everything in our power
- to make sure we don’t
- love is figuring out all the kind sweetness we deserve
- and when someone shows up
- saying they will provide it as you do
- but their actions seem to break you
- rather than build you
- love is knowing whom to choose
как выглядит любовь