Читать книгу Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus онлайн | страница 23
19 “You are not leaving yourself enough time.”
20 “You should give me more [advance] notice. I can’t just drop everything and go to lunch with you.”
21 “Your shirt doesn’t match your pants.”
22 “Bill called for the third time. When are you going to call him back?”
23 “Your toolbox is such a mess. I can’t find anything. You should organize it.”
When a woman does not know how to directly ask a man for support (ssss1) or constructively share a difference of opinion (ssss1), she may feel powerless to get what she needs without giving unsolicited advice or criticism (again, we explore this topic more fully later on). To practice giving acceptance and not giving advice and criticism is, however, a big step.
By clearly understanding he is rejecting not her needs but the way she is approaching him, she can take his rejection less personally and explore more supportive ways of communicating her needs. Gradually she will realize that a man wants to make improvements when he feels he is being approached as the solution to a problem rather than as the problem itself.
A man wants to make improvements when he feels he is being approached as the solution to a problem rather than as the problem itself.
If you are a woman, I suggest that for the next week practice restraining from giving any unsolicited advice or criticism. The men in your life not only will appreciate it but also will be more attentive and responsive to you.
If you are a man, I suggest that for the next week you practice listening whenever a woman speaks, with the sole intention of respectfully understanding what she is going through. Practice biting your tongue whenever you get the urge to offer a solution or change how she is feeling. You will be surprised when you experience how much she appreciates you.
ssss1
ssss1
ne of the biggest differences
When Tom comes home, he wants to relax and unwind by quietly reading the news. He is stressed by the unsolved problems of his day and finds relief through forgetting them.