Читать книгу Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus онлайн | страница 44

This process of giving to others prepared them for the wisdom of self-esteem. Through giving to others they came to see that others truly were worthy of receiving, and thus they began to see that everyone deserved to be loved. Then, finally, they saw that they too deserved to receive.

Here on Earth, when a little girl experiences her mother receiving love, then automatically she feels worthy. She is able easily to overcome the Venusian compulsion to give too much. She doesn’t have to overcome a fear of receiving because she identifies so closely with her mother. If her mother has learned this wisdom then the child automatically learns it through observing and sharing her mother’s feelings. If the mother is open to receive, then the child learns how to receive.

The Venusians, however, did not have role models, so it took them thousands of years to give up their compulsive giving. Through gradually seeing that others were worthy of receiving, they realized that they also were worthy of receiving. At that magical moment the Martians also went through a transformation and began building spaceships.

When a woman realizes that she truly deserves to be loved, she is opening the door for a man to give to her. But when it takes her ten years of overgiving in a marriage to realize that she deserves more, ironically, she feels like closing the door and not giving him the chance. She may feel something like this: “I have given to you and you have ignored me. You had your chance. I deserve better. I can’t trust you. I am too tired, I have nothing left to give. I will not let you hurt me again.”

Repeatedly, when this is the case, I have assured women that they don’t have to give more to have a better relationship. Their partner actually will give them more if they give less. When a man has been ignoring her needs, it is as though they have both been asleep. When she wakes up and remembers her needs, he also wakes up and wants to give her more.